10 Wild Taylor Swift Tortured Poets Theories That Might Actually Be True

Swifties, gather round. The Tortured Poets Department album has only been out a hot minute and already the internet is flooded with wild, weird, and weirdly convincing fan theories. Whether you're dissecting lyrics, decoding easter eggs, or deep in Reddit threads at 2am, you're not alone.

Here are 10 Taylor Swift Tortured Poets theories the fandom can’t stop talking about:

1. It’s Not Just About Joe – Matty Healy Gets a Verse Too

This isn’t a standard breakup album. While a lot of people thought Tortured Poets was aimed solely at Joe Alwyn, lyrics like “You smoked then ate seven bars of chocolate” and “You left your typewriter at my apartment” have Matty Healy written all over them. The consensus? It's a double breakup record.

2. The Black Dog is a Real Pub – But She Never Went

There’s a real “Black Dog” pub in Vauxhall, London. Swifties have been flocking there since the track dropped. But the theory goes that Taylor’s referencing it as a metaphor for surveillance and lost connection – not a real-life haunt. You left your spy cams there or..?

3. “Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?” Isn’t About an Ex

This unhinged track feels bigger than a breakup. Some fans think it’s aimed at the music industry, the media, and even us — the fans. It’s chaotic, theatrical and angry. Reputation energy, with a literary twist.

4. This Is Her “Lorde” Era

Between the distorted synths and poetic detachment, the album has major Melodrama and Solar Power vibes. Some fans are calling TTPD her “art-pop era.” Think: sadness, reflection, a little delusion, and some very specific references to women from the 1920s.

5. “Clara Bow” = Passing the Pop Star Torch

The final track feels symbolic. Lines like “You look like Taylor Swift in this light” are either a sweet nod to new-gen artists like Sabrina Carpenter—or a sharp take on how the industry recycles and replaces women. Either way, it’s cryptic.

6. Tortured Poets = The 1975 Parody?

Let’s not ignore the fact that Tortured Poets Department sounds like something Matty Healy would name his group chat. The academic-sounding title, the broody visuals, the over-intellectual heartbreak—it's giving art boy satire.

7. The Anthology Version Is the Real Album

The 15 extra tracks in the “Anthology” version have more emotional weight than the standard tracklist. Songs like The Manuscript and So High School are some of her most raw lyrics to date. Fans think she purposely buried the deeper cuts in the vault.

8. “thanK you aIMee” = KIM

The title “thanK you aIMee” spells KIM, and let’s just say the lyrics don’t exactly scream forgiveness. After years of staying quiet, Swifties believe this is a direct shot at Kim Kardashian. “All that time you were throwing punches, I was building something”... mic drop.

9. It’s All a Metaphor for Surveillance Culture

Lines about being watched, tracked, and followed run deep through this album. Some fans think TTPD is about more than relationships—it’s a statement about fame, privacy, and how Taylor’s every move is analysed. (Hi 👋)

10. This Isn’t a Sad Girl Album – It’s a Villain Era Manifesto

Forget crying into your wine glass. This is Taylor’s villain origin story. Angry. Poetic. Petty. Powerful. She’s not just heartbroken—she’s writing the syllabus on how to burn the whole thing down in lowercase cursive.

Final Thoughts: Are These Taylor Swift Tortured Poets Theories True?

Who knows. But that’s the fun of it. TTPD isn’t just an album—it’s a puzzle. Taylor leaves breadcrumbs because she knows we’ll follow. And whether these theories are real, reaching, or just really good fiction, they make the whole fandom experience that much more chaotic and fun.

What’s your favourite theory? Slide into our DMs or tag us on Insta – we’re here for all the overanalysis.